How Your Baby Learns

Your baby takes in information through all her senses, then uses that information to communicate with you. Her senses are amazingly well developed at birth. Not surprisingly, many mothers are convinced that their baby knows them at birth. They're probably right. Babies use many of their senses to get to know their mothers while they are still in the womb.

Even in the early weeks of their lives, babies behave differently with the different people they relate to—mother, father, and others. Interestingly, newborns seem to respond more to the higher-pitched voices of their mothers and other women than to the lower-pitched voices of their fathers and other men. When just one week old, a baby can pick out her own mother's voice from the voices of other women.

And, studies have shown that when their mothers repeat their names, babies react differently than when other words are said to them. Even a young baby has been observed to react differently when she is with a stranger. There isn't the sensitive give-and-take that exists between a baby and her parent. In all of these situations, your baby is involved in a process of attachment and bonding. She is learning that she is a separate person and also that she helps shape her relationships with others.

This early communication is the basis on which thinking and feeling will later develop.

Understanding Your Baby's Communication

Infants don't just eat, sleep, and wait for us to do things for them. Very early they seek ways to adapt to the world outside the womb. For example, sleeping is one way babies learn to organize their lives: when they are tired, they simply turn off the environment by going to sleep. And in sleeping, babies conserve their energy for their most important task—growing.

By watching closely and after some trial and error, you will learn how much or little stimulation your baby can handle, how loud or soft a noise or voice should be, or how close a toy should be held. These responses are all part of your baby's own special language.

As you watch, your baby will let you know when she is ready for interaction and when is the best time for feeding or talking, singing or playing. The "quiet alert" phases of your baby's day are best for talking and interacting. "I'm ready" or "happy" messages include open eyes, relaxed arms and legs, perhaps a tight grasp reflex around your finger. After several weeks, a smiling response is added to the list of happy signals.

On the other hand, too much playing, talking, or feeding may be met by grimaces, turning or looking away, clenched fists, thrashing arms and legs, hiccupping, wriggling, and spitting up. These messages of discomfort say, "Slow down, please. I need more peace and quiet."

Babies take great interest and delight in a variety of new experiences. And there are many possible ways for you to interact with and enjoy your baby—perhaps as many ways as there are parents. No one way is absolutely right. You will become more and more comfortable with each other as you continue this new life together.

Developmental Milestones

All babies develop at different rates, but by the end of baby's second month, he will probably:

• Smile when you touch or talk to him
• React to the loud sounds by startling, crying, or getting very quiet
• No longer keep his hands in tight fists
• Recognize Mom and Dad
• Be able to lift his chest off the floor using his forearms as support

How Dad Can Help

New dads face many responsibilities—sometimes without knowing just what they are. Here are a few tips to help you in your new role as a dad.

• Ask how you can help. Baby care, grocery shopping, and household chores will probably be at the top of the list. But a back massage or time to take a nap may be just what Mom needs now.
• If you feel that you're not doing things right, ask how to do them better. Changing diapers is not an instinctive skill, but knowing when to ask for instruction is the next best thing.
• You may be torn between feeling the need to be at home with your new family and meeting job responsibilities. Talk about this dilemma and try to find ways to spend more time caring for your new baby while accomplishing your other responsibilities.
• Talk to other parents and read books on fathering and child development. The more you know about parenting, the closer you'll likely feel to your baby—and Mom.
• Do all you can to help care for your new baby. Feed, bathe, hold, rock, sing to, and diaper your little one.
• Participate in conversations about your baby among family and friends. Share baby stories and photographs.
• Attend as many visits to your baby's health care professional as you can and ask questions to learn more about your baby's growth and development.

Allergy to Milk

For some babies, allergy to feedings can cause a wide range of reactions. These include skin rash, watery stools, and respiratory problems—either one at a time or several together.

Trust your health care professional's advice about infant formulas: He or she is best able to determine whether your baby should be fed a special formula. A soy protein formula like Isomil can be used to replace milk feedings to support normal growth and development when tolerance to soy has been established. As your baby grows, your health care professional will recommend foods to be added to the diet and foods or ingredients that need to be avoided.

If your baby is allergic to both milk and soy protein, your health care professional may recommend Alimentum, a hypoallergenic formula designed to meet your baby's nutritional needs.

Always discuss with your doctor any baby concerns you have. Do not switch formulas without talking to the doctor or nurse.

Your Sleeping Baby

By the time your baby is 6 to 12 weeks old, she'll probably be sleeping for longer stretches of the night. If she's not, you may have to help her learn to fall asleep on her own. Like adults, babies wake frequently throughout the night. If she has learned to fall asleep on her own, chances are, if she wakes up briefly, she'll go back to sleep without crying out for help first.

You can help your baby learn this skill by putting her in her crib to fall asleep, instead of having her depend on you rocking or holding her until she falls asleep. To help establish this routine, wait until she is groggy, but still awake, then lay her in her crib, say "good night", turn off the light and leave the room. If she cries, wait a few minutes before returning. If she continues to cry, go back in the room (leaving the light off), rub her and talk to her in a soothing voice. When she quiets down, say "good night" and leave the room again. If she begins to cry again, repeat this pattern until she falls asleep. It may take a few days, but she'll get the hang of it. Establishing this skill when your baby is still young will help prevent bedtime battles later.