Helping Your Baby Develop

The types of skills that your baby develops, and the rate at which she develops them, are largely dependent on her own abilities. Here are some things you can do to encourage healthy development:

• Hug and cuddle your baby often.
• Soothe and calm your baby when she's fussy.
• Smile and talk to your baby often and sing to her at bedtime.
• Play "Peekaboo" and let your baby look in a mirror.
• Read books to your baby, naming objects and people as you travel through the pages.
• Teach your baby games such as "Pat-a-Cake" and "How Big's the Baby?"

Developmental Milestones

Babies develop at different rates, but by the end of baby's ninth month, he will probably:

• Pull himself up to a standing position
• Walk holding on to furniture
• Grab objects with his thumb and index finger—the "pincer grasp"
• Shake, bang, drop, and throw things
• Say "mama," but only as a sound, not a name
• Wave "bye-bye"
• Understand "no"
• Actively participate in games such as "Pat-a-Cake" and "Peekaboo"

Breath Holding

Your baby may become irritable to the point of having a temper tantrum in which she holds her breath until she turns blue. Your baby may even faint briefly. Normal breathing resumes as the child faints, so the spell is over quickly.

Breath holding is usually more frightening to watch than it is threatening to a baby's emotional or physical health. As babies mature, they learn to express feelings in words without having temperamental outbursts and begin to accept the limits parents set for their well-being. If you're concerned about breath-holding spells or other behavioral issues, be sure to discuss them with your baby's health care professional.

Security Blankets, Teddy Bears, and Other Objects

Security blanket. Cuddly. Lovey. All names for a special object—a stuffed animal, toy, or blanket—that becomes part of your baby's emotional support system. Why are these objects important? They can:

• Comfort her when she's upset, afraid, or stressed
• Help her feel at ease in an unfamiliar place
• Reassure her when you're not there
• Help her get to sleep

Using a transitional object is not a sign of insecurity. On the contrary, it shows that your baby has been loved and nurtured, and that she is able to comfort herself. This is important as she becomes more independent.

Your baby may become very emotionally attached to her "cuddly." So, if possible, it's best to have a pair of these precious objects—one for her to hold right now, the other to wash or use as an "emergency" replacement.

Waking Up With Separation Anxiety

Just when you thought your baby was sleeping through the night for good, she's up again. This time, she's not waking up because she's hungry. Now she's struggling with separation anxiety. She wakes up looking for you and for reassurance. While you don't want to let her cry, you also don't want to encourage her behavior. So what do you do? Following are some suggestions. Remember: if you have special concerns or problems, talk to your baby's health care professional.

• Continue a consistent bedtime ritual for 10 to 30 minutes before bedtime.
• Encourage her to go to sleep with a "transitional" object—a blanket or stuffed animal. This object will comfort her when she's afraid and reassure her when you're not there.
• Go to her when she cries. Try not to turn on the light, rock her, or walk with her. If possible, don't take her out of her crib. Talk to her and pat or rub her back to soothe her.
• Check for a wet diaper or signs of illness. If you have to change her diaper, do it as quickly and quietly as possible.

Flat Feet

Sometimes parents worry because their baby's feet seem to be flat. Your baby's feet appear flat because a pad of fat is hiding the arch. This condition is very common in infants, and is usually nothing to worry about. You probably will be able to see an arch when the fat disappears, usually in 2 or 3 years.

In the meantime, your health care professional will make sure that your child's feet and legs are developing normally. Most minor foot and leg conditions are outgrown during childhood.

How to Say "No"

At this age, your baby has a great need to explore—that means touching, tasting, and throwing everything in sight. Discipline teaches your baby self-control.

Some parents think that discipline means punishment, but it really means showing your baby what is acceptable behavior while protecting her from harm. She learns the meaning of "No" by the tone of voice, facial expressions, and gestures that accompany your remarks.

The following pointers will help you begin disciplining effectively right from the start.

• Don't say "no" too often. Save it for important things, like when your baby starts to play with something truly off-limits for safety reasons. Then say "No" firmly and remove her from the situation.
• Respond immediately. The most effective discipline occurs when a baby is in the act of misbehaving. Try to take full advantage of the moment.
• Quickly distract your baby when she does something she shouldn't do.
• You may have to say "no" more than once before she gets the message.
• Be consistent. That way she'll catch on to what she can and cannot do.
• Be patient. Learning won't happen overnight.
• Don't overlook good behavior. Reward it with praise and love.